earlier than it once was

it is possible to remain connected in some way despite a feeling of total seclusion.

from a hotel room in rapid city, south dakota. i ordered the newest cell phone on the market, just to say that i have the newest cell phone on the market. i had swordfish tonight, which is more or less a worthwhile venture in any state. w. was on the television, though the time zone change always makes things more bizarre for me. alito was sworn in as well on this day, an event that has caused a predictable amount of support from me. all of these things have little to do with my current location.

it all makes sense.

captain america says...

according to this cnn article the new car smell which i love more than chanel no. 5 is at least in part caused by toxic chemicals. you might assume that this would make me rethink the 5 new-car-smell air fresheners in my powder room but nay. i mean, my favorite fragrance on a woman is gin mixed with scotch and a touch of gasoline.

jack and trixie

it appears that i will be getting a sizable tax refund check from the president. though partly due to non-compensated <fingerquote>business</fingerquote> expenses, it is mostly due to having mortgage payments that are essentially all interest. bring on the cheap whiskey and expensive women. no. expensive whiskey and cheap women. yes, that’s right.

surfin usa

well east coast girls are hip
i really dig those styles they wear

last week the suggestion was made by someone in my firm's portland office, that i should move to the other coast. t. price has coincidentally contemplated such action in his own life. or so it was written.

i wish they all could be california girls

portland isn't california, and i'm partial to hip. maybe i'll move, and remember the song in a different order. maybe the east is home. the kids on the oc and laguna beach, they have stress. it's vital to the script. maybe they're partial to hip as well. brian wilson has never met me, but he probably should. i have a way of seeing things, and maybe we're closer than the song would suggest.

hang ten pappas

chris’s exploits in san diego are making me want to pick up and leave for the wes-coas. i’ve always wanted to learn to surf, but i have a few requirements. first, it must be part of a music-backed montage cutting from clips of me hopping up to a balanced position from flat on the board to clips of me missing waves looking disappointed, to me finally catching one and looking “stoked”. also, my teacher has to be lori petty. or at least a guy who has a haircut like hers circa 1991. all my east coast sins would be forgiven, and i would finally lose the respectability that’s plagued me for as long as i can remember.

avril

as i’m sure most of you have already concluded, i really dig (ha) avril lavigne. it’s not so much the predictable pop compositions or tired lyrics, but a certain something hard to define. I mean, pretty people are undoubtedly better than normal people, but i think maybe the thing i find cute is when musicians who are obviously pop singers think they are something different. self delusion is an attractive quality.

when i read this sun article about her getting into modelling i became excited. this passage especially brought back memories:

In the process of shedding her tomboy image Avril has begun experimenting with cosmetics and clothes.

i remember when i first experimented with cosmetics. i was fifteen and my parents were out for the day. of course, i didn’t know any better so i tried all the products at the same time: eyeliner, rouge, lipstick. now I know not to mix cosmetics, but that day i experienced the dark side of estee lauder. i ended up floating around the house for a while and then puking for an hour in cold sweats. i had to lock myself in my room when my parents came home and say i had gotten the flu. i woke up the next morning with a massive hangover (smudged lipstick, eyeliner smeared, and traces of red and black on my hands and sheets).

just thought that i had to be in compton soon

the boyz in the hood, they're alwayz hard...

i once considered that had my person been cultivated in the hood, or in a hood of any sort, that things may not have turned out any differently. this doesn't necessarily frighten me, nor does it interject any significant level of fate-based vision on my part.

currently, i live in the city. i'm close enough to the beach to matter. and i'm not home enough to care. i consistently wake up to sub-par videos on the television, though i rarely make a change in that regard. i take more time planning the discs in my car's changer than i do in planning a rare day when i'm slotted to do development work in my office. packing for a business trip is an art i'm studying. a well fitting suit can be drastically underrated. red wine every night, and there are very few exceptions to that, no matter what city i'm in. my cell minutes in a given month surprise me. every time.

i think that somewhere in between here and there, these are some of the things that could matter to someone.

life is short

i just listened to wolf parade’s “shine a light” 11 straight times. i watched the video a couple times on on demand last night before the o.c. as well. the singer sounds more than a little like the lead singer in dynamite hack, whose voice i also like. although it is difficult to understand, the song is a “life is short” –themed ode to over-living, the mantra of which i respect but don’t generally follow. it really gets the blood moving, though, and it made me consider that perhaps there is more to life than just blogging and being third shift assistant greeter at walmart.

diary

neither the love of a woman nor a man (er, i’m told) compares to the announcement that the following will share the same warm air as you and some diluted rum in the near future:

minus the bear, mates of state, the magic numbers, thomas dybdahl, cat power, ted leo, the m’s, nada surf, ok go, the go! team, new pornographers, sia, her space holiday

hint: chenault won’t be there

another nice guy

i am saddened to hear of the death of nice guy eddie (aka chris penn). i think this is a time for all of us to reflect upon our lives of crime, reevaluate our priorities, and take some advice from the late actor:

okay, first things fuckin' last!

RIP

bonjour fish-man

i would be willing to substitute a fair amount of surprising elements for their anticipatory counterparts. what remains significant about known events that serve to build up expectation is that perception changes along the way. while surprise can be powerful, it is nevertheless instantaneous in nature. it's impact can only be measured against future returns.

expectation, on the other hand, provides a multi-dimensional driver for change. happiness that extends from this sort of catalyst can be valued at a higher level of worth. the realist sees the future with this sort of outlook. for better, for worse, and everywhere in between, the energy spent longing for the unexpected is better spent valuing the known road ahead.

cleo

the music videos on the televisions at the gym today were about a song and a half behind the audio through the speakers. this was disconcerting not only because watching jessica simpson sing the fine young cannibals’ “she drives me crazy” is lurid, but also because the uncertainty of the future was gone. I knew five minutes before the puppets came on screen that genesis’ “land of confusion” was next. i wonder if i can have any fun at all without some element of surprise.

break out the champagne. of beers.

i, for one, cannot wait unti this program airs. as one of the faithful buttafuoco (jesus jake help you if you misspell his name) supporters in the early nineties i took a lot of criticism. but i have no doubt this will lead to both of our redemptions.

down here, i believe

back on the east coast
it's not that people are different here
i'm just more willing to notice

saturday night
a girl asks me what i do for a living
what do you call this, i ask
blank stare, half smile, no words
i can't help but think...
maybe you're right

will work for food
is that what she was looking for?
if life has become too complex
if drawing that line is no longer possible
is it ok with you if we stay alive for a while longer?
i can change

to care is not to understand
i care very much about living
my bag is full of pencils

give to caesar

it appears jesus plummer may be crucified, if not by the city of denver, then by the general media. why must this happen every two thousand years, give or take?

from the city

i don't listen to country music
i remember being bored once
1995, a night at the beach
maybe that would have been an opportunity
things are different now

baby you can drive my pickup

while watching the bodyguard and perusing i blame the patriarchy i came across this article about the growing acceptance of smokeless tobacco use among young women. needless to say i am not undisturbed. how many people actually listen to gretchen wilson?

speaking from another

i have friends that are best listened to on paper. on a screen. always after drinking. certainly them, possibly me. and at a distance. one such friend passed these lines to me last night, and it was more elegant than anything that i had to say. it is best that my friends are left longing for more. my interest is defined by it. more or less.


tell me something beautiful,
but maybe not so typical
as a walk on the beach
or cuddling by the fire,
cause i need more
than just air to breathe,
or a sweet idea
of what love is meant to be.

where are we now,
that it seems like so long ago
we both believed
our precious notions.

and through it all
i pinch myself;
but i'm trapped in restless sleep,
looking for the dream
that i want to awake to,
but it flickers away in a
mist of misunderstanding
and causes pity to rain down
and wash the ground
away into some nothing.

and so day after day
i sit lonesome,
wishing for something typical;
just for starters i'll build you a fire, and we can walk along
the beach to your heart's desire, if you promise not to go,
and i'll call you beautiful, because that's who you are.

love spelled backwards is evol

i had the pleasure of hearing omega love last night at a small venue. well worth the hassle from the homeless guy (Al) who somehow was in the process of switching HMOs and needed a little cash advance for a procedure. I was in a good mood, though, since omega took the edge off while smoothing out my evening and my companion’s hair smelled like coconut and lime.