ambivalence turns me on and turns me off

i’m changing the record every minute.  i can’t get through a song.  dreamy is burst by raw melodic industrial which is shut down by scuzzy dance.  that gives way to jagged guitar over bass-driven riffs with cowbell which yields to baritone guitar delay-pedaled into surf rock.  my turntable reflects my state of mind.  i need something to push me from my perch on the apex of the roof.  pain or pleasure, either one is better than purgatory.