not quite canada

portland this week. but, not the maine version, which is probably nice this time of year. oregon is the niche state in the united states, hands down. the state is impossibly appealing to a very specific mind set, and undeniably invisible to the rest of the world. more accurately, like g.love or marathoning, it also suffers from a part-irony, part-vicious circle phenomenon. people like it because it's different, maybe a little new, definitely a chance to define themselves in. so album number one, race number two, visit number three, those key components are consistently present. fast forward to lemonade, to your fifth running of the albuquerque marathon, your twenty-fifth year of living in the woods. now you know for sure if it was worth it. now you know if you wanted different, or loved it for what it was.

when you continue to excel in a competition that nobody else is participating in, what level of accolades should you expect? it's nice here. i think we can all agree that we expected that.

loosly related facts

it appears the talented and handsome bret easton ellis has fractured his ankle in a decidedly lohan-esque move. this is what happens when you attend dinner parties. i, on the other hand, stubbed my toe on a coffe table this weekend. however, i was drinking hoegaarden semi-naked by myself. and that’s clearly the difference.

vinyl engagement ring

i have finally acquired a turntable. after a few years of hoping one would fall into my lap i just bought one. she’s very pretty and we talk a lot about things. i end up listening far more than i talk though. we hang out after work and on weekends, but i never take her out because her counter-weight and other settings are far too delicate. so far she’s only sung pop music from two to four decades ago because that’s all she knows. i’m in the process of getting her some more recent vinyl accessories, however, and that will only bring us closer. i need no promise ring, nor engagement ring, nor marriage certificate. just my turntable. and some whiskey.

informers minus the snow

ain’t it cool is reporting that bret easton ellis’ the informers has been optioned for a screenplay. the director will be nicholas jarecki. considering the seemingly infinite loop of delays for the glamorama movie i’m not holding my breath for this project. the informers is even more fragmented than the rules of attraction and while i was very happy with that screenplay i am wary of this new project. but perhaps that will work in this film's favor, as it will be kind of an underdog, without the atlas-like burden which weighed upon american psycho and rules.

memories

a music-buying binge revealed this clip, and i was instantly happy:

http://www.twogallants.com/video.html

underwhelmed

this is a relatively busy time of the year with regards to my non-professional interaction with the world wide web. the start of the football season sparks my interest on a number of levels. most notably, i have made it my personal goal to wager my way above the government-imposed poverty line, legitimate income notwithstanding. there is a philadelphia band, human television, whose latest l.p. continues to act as the soundtrack to my newly established goals. just coincidence, but in my mind they connect. i'm beginning to impulsively blend. everything. i debate wedding reception sites while purchasing music on my couch during the usc game, place nfl bets while perusing the mercedes lot, and develop new triceps routines while reviewing my firm's latest policy on the licensing of our proprietary software. all of this helps to give the impression that my life is moving, and in a way it is, though conflicting vectors routinely drop me off in painfully familiar territory. lack of progress can be achieved without stagnation...delusion works just as well.

save me jeebus

although evangelical jesus camps have been around for a while it is still frightening to think about. but while islamic radical training camps have been called "difficult" and "intense", we can take heart that the christians are "kinda being trained to be warriors, only in a funner way." one of the many reasons that religion x beats religion y.

emotional square wave

the crest: the bees' chicken payback video
the trough: jeff buckley's forget her video

these played in succession at the gym. it is very hard to work on abs when you are sad (vengeful is optimal, but happy is good), so i had to stop for the "forget her" video. things like this should be considered before a gym is built.

disgusting

i don’t care if this is “just for amusement”, it is disgusting like puking grain alcohol and marshmallows. why does the world keep doing this to me?

Of Montreal's Kevin Barnes confirmed that yes, it is indeed his song. "We were approached by Outback Steakhouse's ad agency asking about making their own cover version of 'Wraith Pinned to the Mist (And Other Games)' for one of their commercials. We thought it would be totally amusing to hear their take on one of our songs as a jingle."

the only thing that could have made this worse is if it were applebees, the "hitler" of mediocre restaurant regimes.

outrageous

The Madrid show is using the body mass index or BMI -- based on weight and height -- to measure models. It has turned away 30 percent of women who took part in the previous event. Medics will be on hand at the September 18-22 show to check models.

this is outrageous. i mean, i… can’t even… we may as well get ready for the four horsemen. first, i’ll concede that there is such a thing as “too thin”. but there is also such a thing as “too fat”. and i don’t see madrid banning “unhealthy” (and unattractive) high body mass indexes. i also find this ironic from a european country that could conceivably ban smoking in movies but chooses instead to persecute innocent goddesses. there is a line between government guidelines and government decisions made on citizens’ behalves. that line was just snorted by logic and she was subsequently banned from modeling in madrid.

route

as i drove down the road this afternoon i started singing along to the music playing on my stereo. i think it was track ten from the last doves l.p. it was clear and seventy-five degrees. however, i have no recollection of any time from that point until i stopped the car in my driveway. i think i have become complacent. can you ever appreciate things too much? i guess i just want to know if someone with something left to prove ever loses time.

prayer for 26

listen to “heart and soul” by huey lewis while remembering your undergraduate days. follow this with two cycles of “yesterday never tomorrow” from the stills. the first time through think of how your life was better in the past and the second time through convince yourself that having money and knowledge could bode well for the future. finally, give the rapture’s “house of jealous lovers” a spin because, hey, you need to get up and dance. follow this with an amen. NB: do not listen to sufjan stevens, denson witmer, sigur ros, or boys II men.

proem

in the beginning we were out for fun. free and without explanation, without plan or thought of then we glided along. this was before we knew, when questions had answers in favorable proportions. we’d go up and down and back and forth, and although we ended up the same we never caught on. and the backgrounds and our names all blended into one. but just as we had begun we would lose momentum, the saddest of ends. the light stayed inside while the heavy sentiment was forced out. and time sped up. and we slowed down.

update: don't worry, i quit listening to denison witmer on loop. these words are more about the human condition than anything specific, i.e. me being one year closer to death.

who's the boss

can someone explain how the killers have “traded synth-pop for springsteen” on their new record “when you were young”? first, i don’t like springsteen at all. while pop rock ‘n roll can (should) be simple, his is just uninteresting. and though the killers’ new song trades synthesizers for strings, i fail to see the connection with the boss. i’ve watched the killers’ mtv video music awards performance four times now and i really like the song. i am almost in a panic over these comparisons, however, for they might not bode well for the l.p. sam’s town. and i can’t be let down now. not after hot fuss. not after brandon said their album will be “one of the best albums in the past twenty years.” not after amending my will to leave the band my collection of liquor.