girlfriend

arvril lavigne’s new single “girlfriend”, the video for which i’ve been watching on repeat for the last day, has brought back to the forefront my issue with hot canadian pop girls. the issue is that i have an irrational crush on them all, but avril is the one i love the most. even when her inane lyrics are fergie-like (without spelling everything out) and contain out-of-place profainity for a song made of equal parts “hey mickey” and pixie stick. at least i think i’ve finally figured out what qualities i value most in girls:

✓ is a musician
✓ is attractive
✓ can chant like a cheerleader when necessary

sidewalk prayer

there is more truth on sidewalks than in any of the homes in front of which they lie. i saw some writing on a sidewalk a few days ago. it went something like “[star] [crescent] t + b forever [heart] [seductive eyes]”. i couldn’t help but feel that t and b might have a better chance together now that the universe was aware of them. plus, in my experience, seductive eyes never hurt any situation.

a door

i worry that the number of passwords kept in my memory is growing too large. this often conjures up the image of too many demands. expert-designed hallways with walls angled at physically impossible angles, following a path borne of statistical genius. it's as though people want parts of me that never quite existed in the first place. you probably want me to single out reasons for this. words like ominous, transcendent, overarching, and hollow, fill your reaction. don't worry. i don't forget so easily. what you're seeing is something i've already given you. and i don't have to understand to know that we had it right the first time.

bloom

although it's spring, my thoughts are much more focused on the presence of lindsay lohan on the cover of gq, and how i should react to this finding. i'm beginning to look at things more broadly, which scares people who have already used phrases like too general, too impersonal, and heartless when describing me. this is usually the time of the year that smaller details sort themselves out, and distance is definitely the new handshake. disconnection is key. i'm thinking of how good the sun feels, and that yeah, it's something that i can probably focus on, moving forward. you can be in a room with a hundred people and not share a thought, and this doesn't scare me in the least. nothing fazes this phase, and i smile at how clever that sounds. yesterday i drove a hundred and twenty in two different cars. while i have no particular guide on this subject, tomorrow should bring one-thirty, but only once. you decide which is more meaningful. i'm willing to bet that it doesn't mean much. lindsay lohan is on the cover of gq and i'm thinking; probably. maybe. didn't this used to matter?

what i'm thinking

when i was a young man i put away childish things. i wanted to be ahead of the curve. but now i am taking those things back out (only the becoming ones, of course). the curve has wrapped around and led back upon itself, and i can now think of nothing better than the freedom of youth. i like respect, but i can live without it. i don’t want to live without genuine carefree amusement.

watermelon bubblegum

here is a taste of last week’s south by southwest experience for all you who can’t get enough of p.l.a.’s lifestyle.

the first clip is mew playing at la zona rosa on saturday. it is the first song in their set, “special”, which is a single off their and the glass handed kites album. we were standing back and to the right from this person. the sound is never perfect on these handhelds, but you can still feel jonas’ emotion come through. it was nearly thrice as good drunk and in person.



this clip is the last show we saw in austin this year, girl talk on saturday night at elysium. greg’s shows are always energetic and fun, and i can’t really remember wanting to dance before i experienced his live act. the pure pop-iness of it recalls the scent of watermelon bubblegum and a sunny day from my youth. i was riding my bike, listening to the pop station on my transistor radio, thinking to myself ‘it doesn’t get any better than paula abdul’. well, i was wrong. it does.

s aturd ay

a saturday afternoon in austin: better basketball, the realization that ordering food is more complicated that i had assumed, a promising musical lineup to look forward to, the realization that we still lacked wristbands, and taxis that stayed away for far too long. afterwards, first impressions of downtown on st. patrick's day prompted bad memories of too much green, mixed with more recent nightmares of denied entry. kings of leon and field music, in separate locations and despite our efforts to the contrary, were left unseen by those that mattered most.

the night's first actual enjoyment over music occurred in a familiar venue. tucked away at la zona rosa, mohair put on a spirited performance that brought energy back to our earlier dejection. bizarre brit wardrobes aside, the set was both visually and audibly invigorating. with the rushed feel of many sxsw sets, i'm always willing to forgive a certain amount of cliche in exchange for well planned delivery. mew followed with my favorite performance of the weekend. seamless transition between varying styles was the most evident highlight, closely followed by a sound that rang true and confident throughout. throw in the expert use of the lzr stage-length video projection setup, more vodka, and fairly knowledgeable danish fans surrounding me with their enthusiasm, and the party was essentially sublime. after an hour that went much too fast, eisley took the stage and entertained in ways that were more common but pleasantly contrasting, nonetheless.

on the trek back from lzr, possible options included more storefront rejection, attending indescribable street performances, and getting into a 1am show impossibly early to ensure the elimination of the other options. choosing the latter, we took our dazed state to elysium to discuss what had just occurred, and generally remain motionless in preparation for pittsburgh's finest entertainer. for me, events occurring between our arrival at the club and girl talk's arrival on stage seemed both unimportant and blurred. once his set started, however, i was taken to a state previously unvisited during the trip. girl talk's expert blend of contrasting genres served as a microcosm to the place in my memory occupied by this intense show, in reference to the festival as a whole. people danced, screamed, and generally had the sort of experience they had dreamed of earlier in the week. saturday, yes saturday, was a good night in austin.

f rid ay

friday brought about an unfortunate dependency on luck (hidden), scheduling (puzzling), and other influences (distant) most often held back by intelligence (check) or greed (also check). you know, like the french tax allocation structure. subpar afternoon basketball only occasionally brought itself to dramatic moments, while even they turned sour with disappointing outcomes. team mascots (tiki gods from texas), statistical probabilities (regression models not included), and commentator qualifications (non-existent) were discussed ad nauseam. all of this seemed ok at the time. the waitstaff's early manhattan-like treatment (slight hints of disdain) of our early dinner decision slowly turned to decent service and better food. the scene moved from dinner to random bars to church (yes, in that order). thomas dybdahl provided a glorious and calming performance that seemed to quiet the city for just a moment. unfortunately, we had hit a highlight for the evening. a few unsuccessful attempts at promising venues led us out; to the outer circles of the city, to fairly forgettable music, to good liquor, and to uncrowded surroundings. somewhere between that point and saturday; mba students from berkely, invitations to go elsewhere (i expect to be approached in such a way), a series of club venues with a series of strong drinks (vodka remained popular). suggestions directed my way included berkely's business school supremacy, questions of limited artistic background, and the sharing of hotel beds. each was denied accordingly.

sxsw 07 fri/sat roundup

i figure i’d better write this before i forget what happened three days ago. i can usually remember specific things well but large detail-less chunks escape me constantly in as few as twelve hours.

friday, the weakest of the three days lineup-wise, had no pleasant surprises in store for us. there was one highlight, however. thomas dybdahl played a moving set inside a pin-drop-quiet presbyterian church. it was both strange and comforting to sit in a pew during “love story”, and the acoustics were terrific. the night began going downhill when we were denied from the polyvinyl showcase, featuring headlights and saturday looks good to me among others. we decided to head back to lambert’s to catch the canadian chad vangaalen. however, upon arrival we heard he got stopped at the border (which border is uncertain) and would not be in attendance. i’m of the opinion it was the texas-oklahoma border for trying to smuggle in cold. regardless we watched the cape may, wholly average band, play straightforward rock while we downed vodka-sodas. after deciding to leave, the rest of the night was spent hanging out with business school students from u.c. berkeley at a variety of places. i am not victor ward would be better at explaining how (i still don’t know) we hooked up with them and giving any descriptions of the physical or spiritual nature. one thing i am sure of, though, is that berkeley’s business school gained national ranking as the night wore on, until finally i believe it eclipsed harvard business school when it was mentioned in conversation.

the luck of the irish was with us on saturday even though i am native american and ianvw is part Italian (the good part). by far my favorite night, we began by trying (and failing) to see both the kings of leon in stubb’s and field music at beauty bar. normally this would have ruined my night as you know my feelings on the overall vortex of cool around the kings. however, the lineups were so strong everywhere that night that we ended up going to our old faithful la zona rosa on fourth street. it is off the hipster-beaten path so it is never at capacity. mew played early, making majestic progressive rock so pretty that it reminded me of seeing sigur ros live. the lead singer, jonas, has an angelic voice and an amazing range. they also had some arty video playing in the background which added to the splendid mood. next was eisley the majority-girl band from dention, texas. they played some new stuff, and their harmonies worked well, but following a far superior band hurt their effect on me a bit. their melodies and guitar parts were simple and clean. overall, they were fine. we next decided to see if elysium, this dirty alt-divey bar was still under capacity for the late show who was girl talk, of course. they were, and we made a decision to stay there even though we’d not heard of the bands playing before him. after some idle conversation and rolling rock green light we made our way to the stage to hear 65daysofstatic, an avant-garde band from england. for a mostly instrumental set they were surprisingly good. lots of tempo changes and electronic sections balanced out hard distorted guitars and a feverish percussion section. if this makes any sense, their chaotic beauty conveyed a sense of serenity. finally, girl talk’s laptop supplied the cap to the night’s great music. his a.d.d. blending of numerous samples at once is always enough to get everyone moving. he appeared a little tired but proceeded to rock the crowd anyway, who, as is traditional, rushed the stage and danced with him. personally, i just love letting go to pop music. hall & oates never sounded better than when fused with daft punk and m.i.a.

the best performances of the weekend go to mew and menomena, with mew edging out the west coast trio mostly because of atmosphere. i am still undecided as to whether this year was better than last. but i am certain that i wouldn’t trade it for anything.

t hursd ay

a summary of thursday: things were "fast paced", people got confused, nothing slowed down, convenience was lost, the music stopped all of it, confusion re-emerged, it blended with the remaining music, drinking continued to make it all less of an issue, people muttered words like "pretentious" and filled in the blanks of phrases negatively describing the "___st set change i've ever seen".

i know that lambert's has the look and feel of a place best experienced often, and in large doses. i also know that snowden fits the same description. the confluence of the two provided a glorious and required snapshot of both physiological and psychological enlightenment to a day that had already experienced airport sports bars (yawn), questionable hotel arrangements (whatever), mistake-filled directions to liquid alcohol spoken in spanish (frustrating), broken cab commitments resulting in a multi-mile commute (predictable), and starving but attractive residents of pennsylvania waiting in line for food best sold to people other than us (finally). the set was fantastic.

leaving lamberts led us to soho lounge (mostly hip) and citay (painfully unattractive, instantly forgettable), where communication breakdowns transformed my trip downstairs into a one-way decision out of the show that had apparently been overfilled during the five minute conversation i had with a mostly sexy group of british teens outside of the women's bathroom. failed attempts of using charm, money, and logic on the staff managed to nonetheless leave me in a crowd less than patiently waiting to get back in. i left. time spent wandering 6th street included witness to a few arrests, random drinks in random bars, and a call from t. price.

buffalo billiards, site of the barsuk showcase, was his destination, and our chance to reconnect. aquaduct (seattle address, limited appeal) has a web address that lies. afterwards, menomena (great sound, captivating presentation) disappointed only in taking an hour to prep for a 20 minute set. we stared, moved, and applauded in unison throughout the abbreviated but powerful performance, even as college boys drunk on pabst did their best to crush the atmosphere. fucking kids, lacking both a sense of awareness and an ability towards action. briefly i considered the joy of fracturing eye sockets. the consequences, however, seemed inconvenient. having been awake for 26 hours straight, the chosen alternative was a cab back to the hotel (victory), late night diner food (again, whatever), and sleep. thursdays are like that.

sxsw 07 thursday roundup

after arriving in austin and finding it mostly the same as we left it last year we checked in to our hotel and began an hour-long video-game-like scavenger hunt to find rum. we talked to no less than four people, each directing us to the next place with assurances that we could find what we were looking for. all we found, however, was disappointment. eventually we found a liquor store like an oasis in the texas desert. after that inauspicious beginning we headed downtown to see some showcases. the first venue we attended was lambert's, a two-story bar a couple streets back from sixth. i really liked the place as it was clean and wood-funished, reminding me of a d.c. bar only less dirty. panda & angel and snowden played, with snowden clearly being the focus of everyone's attention. they put on a great show, playing about half the songs from anti-anti. as a southern band they sound distinctly northern (i mean that as a compliment). next we headed to soho lounge to see deerhunter and do, make, say, think. however, after leaving the upstairs show area, i am not victor ward was not let back up due to their well-run door policy so we decided to go to buffalo billiards to see menomena, the supposed next-big-thing from the west instead. buffalo is a deceptively big two-story bar and a great place to see live music. however, an hour-long set change at 1 a.m. detracted from the ambience of menomena's set and made the drunken crowd a little restless. they still played very well, mixing alto and baritone saxaphones along with keyboards, guitar, bass, drums, and xylophone between their three members. all in all i had a great time even though we didn't make any new discoveries band-wise.

germ free music

i have developed a strong affection for purell hand sanitizer. i’m going through like a bottle a month. luckily i’ve been discreet about it and there have been no interventions just yet. i am a fully functional person. i’m just worried that someone is going to smell the alcohol on me one of these days. which is why i’ve started drinking to hide the smell on my hands. i am slightly worried about the three ounce limit on my flight to austin. however, if i run out of sanitizer and panic i supposed i can always soak my hands in scotch.

over thinking...

a few days away from south by southwest, which has left me in the uncomfortable position of "consistently there", with regards to the office. daylight savings time has affected each of us, though not nearly to the extent that advertisers had imagined. marketing experts refer to this as an oversell, though i would be much more inclined to reference the obvious impact of disappointment over life's other elements. the dow continues to fluctuate, which is to say that there are some things best left unnoticed over small periods of time. i have friends that use terms such as "hard to ignore" and "fascinating" in such situations, and i'm beginning to feel as though few are getting the point. perhaps i'm not trying hard enough, which has been suggested on at least forty-six different occasions. my concern lessens accordingly.

austin's most appealing trait leading in to the extended weekend is its firm stance on the opposite side of where i am asked to operate in most decision-making situations. my days are full of a choice between lackluster options, with a false but necessary belief in the fact that a correct choice will lead to optimal (fulfilling, even?) return on my perceived level of risk. this, of course, is one of the largest fucking lies one can buy into, regardless of necessity. this weekend, however, i aim to be faced with an already determined outline of positive choices, with little or no consequence separating the good from the good. that is to say that the decision is easy, because the decision is meaningless. happiness is guaranteed, at least in principle. think what you'd like, but anticipation of this kind is assured of validation.

over time...

decisions were made that included moving to the west coast, not moving to the west coast, moving to the south, followed by an array of details hindering finality on the issue. impending marriage does not in itself bring complication, and while i have been admirably successful in avoiding such fate, the challenges are mounting. i'm not concerned.

two dinner parties in manhattan, on consecutive thursdays, which i found to be oddly coincidental in a way that intrigued absolutely nobody. i have a way of avoiding business conversation at such events, which may be a legally questionable habit considering the manner of expensing certain costs. fortunately this, along with a host of other legally questionable (or considerably less so) habits, seem to be preserving the sense of youth i had termed as "fleeting" only a short time ago. mostly i spent a week intrigued by the staying power of the skinny tie, though for reasons much more closely aligned with spring hair trends than psychological consistencies among males under the age of 30.

a relocation decision was completed, which is to say that obstacles disappeared to a place certain to haunt me in the coming months. charlote, north carolina proved victorious, which garnered mixed emotions from those hoping for more out of me. early thoughts on the matter included nascar, entry-level i-bankers with degrees in "business" from the university of south carolina, and the false impression that the beach is only miles away. it isn't. less precipitation and more sun, however, coupled with a housing market that places me in a category of habitation-related omnipotence, has lessened the blow.

austin is less than a week away, which garners emotions better left for future comment. nascar has again entered my thoughts, which always leads me to the same course of action; vodka, expensive shoes, and the notion that those out with me need everything that i have. tonight should be worth experiencing live.

new pron

this bath-keeper (via prettier than napoleon) is well ahead of his time. he writes:

I once opened a bath in al-Ma'arrah in order to earn my living. To this bath there came a Frankish knight. The Franks disapprove of girding a cover around one's waist while in the bath. So this Frank stretched out his arm and pulled off my cover from my waist and threw it away. He looked and saw that I had recently shaved off my pubes. So he shouted, "Salim!" As I drew near, him he stretched his hand over my pubes and said, "Salim, good! By the truth of my religion, do the same for me." Saying this, he lay on his back and I found that in that place the hair was like his beard. So I shaved it off. Then he passed his hand over the place and, finding it smooth, he said, "Salim, by the truth of my religion, do the same to madame [al-dama]" (al-dama in their language means the lady), referring to his wife. He then said to a servant of his, "Tell madame to come here." Accordingly the servant went and brought her and made her enter the bath. She also lay on her back. The knight repeated, "Do what thou hast done tome." So I shaved all that hair while her husband was sitting looking at me. At last he thanked me and handed me the pay for my service.

hairless is the new hot, and the act of removing hair is the new porn. it gets me much more excited than other things. i also find girls are much more willing to do things when i use the phrase “by the truth of my religion”. however, my religion is, of course, scientology.

conversation no. 43

p: so how do i know if i’m in love?

t: that question is your answer.

p: no, really. don’t give me some abstract statement. help me.

t: there are two types of people in the world. there are those that care very much what others wear during sex and those that don’t. it is totally dividing, and there is little-to-no crossing of the line. those that care tend to get really annoyed at partial nudity, as if you can’t bring fashion into the bedroom. the most frequent offender is socks, but wristbands, fedoras, kerchiefs, and things of this nature all inspire ire amongst those types. if you and this girl are on different sides of this dividing issue, there is no way it will work out.

p: that doesn’t answer my question at all.

t: exactly.

my weekend

after reading political articles this weekend as a form of self torture i realize that i’m not sure where i stand. am i left of the righties, or moderately liberal? the answer is “neither”, unless apathy is the new passion. everyone has an agenda but me. perhaps i am the new radical. i feel the music in you. you only get what you give.

drear

the weather is a tease. i get up and walk to the window, look outward for an indeterminate time, and return to the seat which bears my name. every time the colors are muted. every time they are the same shade of sepia. i was told today that i should push forward, that good things lie on the horizon. i was told that good things come to those who wait. the ides are approaching, and with them sunbeams.