morning

the loss of a friend is a shock to the system.  you have to learn to breathe again in an unfamiliar environment.  you have to weave duct tape and booze into a barrier to prevent your insides from spilling out of the hole in your chest.  most importantly you can’t give up hope that you will commune with them again. i have and i have and i haven’t.

take me dancing! (boom boom boom boom)

was it apparent to anyone else the major flaw in patton oswalt’s facebook post about humanity and good and evil? it is possible that the post was meant to inspire and in that case it did the trick. the trick, however, is on the reader if they are comforted by his words.  he writes:

“But the vast majority stands against that darkness and, like white blood cells attacking a virus, they dilute and weaken and eventually wash away the evil doers and, more importantly, the damage they wreak. This is beyond religion or creed or nation. We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We'd have eaten ourselves alive long ago."

it is not in the nature of good to destroy.  good is rather compelled to help and nurture.  because of this and the nature of the world there will always be evil.  and while the good may outnumber that evil it is still no consolation to me.  the reason humanity is still here is because never before in human history did evil have the access to extinction-level technology.  and when the tissue is dead both the virus and the white blood cells die, no matter the ratio. 

wow, that was gloomy.  anyone up for some wham! on vinyl?

to be young and wild and free

a few days ago i went back to college for alumni weekend.  it was warm and full of pollen and the buildings smelled like college.  there were no lack of nametags or mammoth tents and the flagstone paths revealed the way to me whenever my memory failed.  i retraced the dutiful steps of an engineering boy and the wobbly steps of a fraternity boy.  as i listened to smashmouth playing live in the quad i realized both that pop music has regressed in the last decade and that my mindset has stayed relatively the same.  i still love the beauty of logic and routine.  and i still love the beauty of the unknown and chaos.  mathematics in fluorescent light and day-drinking in the sun.  training in the morning and stumbling around with random faces from the past at night.  i don’t find these things a contradiction.  

do not open until

there is music reserved for singing alone

there is music reserved for whispering with a heavy heart

there is music reserved for humming while running

and running and running and running

there is music reserved for projecting with the top down

there is music reserved for chanting with the boys

and then there are the junior boys

and then there are the beach boys

oakland zoo

the greatest thing about experiencing grizzly bear in person is hearing the multi-part vocal harmonies start softly and gradually gain strength until they feel like a subtle but firm shove backward. the second best thing is watching and hearing a flute at a rock and roll show.  i experienced both veins of gold on saturday.  i made sure to angle myself so that the shove pushed me closer to the person i was with.