where i've been

i haven’t posted in a while. recently i’ve been overcome by highs and lows, but no creamy middles. my mood has followed the weather in exact proportion such that when it is sunny i don’t want to write because of too many options and when it rains i don’t want to write because of too few. much of the last five days were spent trying in vain to solve all of the hard-category sudoku puzzles on my electronic game. i would sit down, nodding every second like i had a medical condition, rambling such strings of syllables as, “three four six nine r.kelly one one one you moron, roll up on dubs, i’m a flirt…”. when it was nice out i would drive to nowhere and back and then wash my car even though it was washed the day before.

sunday sunday

i spent today alternating between working out, laying on my back in the sun, laying on my front in the sun, and laying on my side watching playoff hockey. i’ve figured out the exact time i need to be in the sun (per side) to keep my tan looking healthy. couple that with my long-held knowledge of the perfect amount of diet coke to replace with whisky in the sixteen ounce bottles to get the correct taste and there is no question that my outdoor skills are superior to most others’. knot tying? florae identification? my butler handles such things as those.

suitcases of liquor

this article about a london house party gone wrong is terribly entertaining. at least three separate parts of the article are quote-worthy. basically, this seventeen year old girl advertised on myspace.com that her parents would be on holiday. she was then shocked that more than forty people showed up at her house, some carrying what neighbors describe as “a suitcase full of alcohol”. that is totally out of line, of course. etiquette requires only one carry-on bag and a small personal item filled with pharmaceuticals per person (at least that’s the way it was back when i was young). the girl’s mother has the best quote, though it may overstep the bounds of the literary device personification:

Whoever has come in here are worse than animals, it's like house rape. They've been sick everywhere, urinated and trashed the house. It will take a month for it to be professionally cleaned and we are having to stay in temporary accommodation.

from her head to her toe

head

i overthink situations. mostly when image is an issue. this is strange because i don’t really care, but i try to give the impression that i care. when deciding between a solemn glare and a quarter smile as my expression, just know that i am trying to decide not what i want to look like but what i want other people to think i look like. i carry a nontrivial burden on my shoulders.

shoulders

shoulders are never the same once they’ve been broken. they can be rebuilt, but never as well. scars are permanent but painkillers are fleeting. i try to keep my shoulders back and square. i try to keep them away from walls.

navel

if your shoulders are back then it is uncomfortable to look at your torso. which is unfortunate, since navel gazing is one of my favorite pastimes.

kness

much like my attitude toward humans, my knees remain flexible even at this age. i learned long ago that flexible was better than stiff, and i live my life accordingly. sure, sometimes they complain if they experience prolonged use, but how else should i pray to l. ron hubbard for new sneakers?

toes

i like consistency. perhaps that is why i am irked by the fact that my biggest toe is not my longest toe. on an otherwise perfect base it is the one thing i feel underconfident about.

reunion

i think all reunions are awkward. by nature they bring together things that were apart. and when people are apart they have no common experience, which is the basis of most non-awkward conversation. i do like unions, however. they are not so much awkward as exciting. and they leave a lot of wiggle room for truth stretching (truth is like a rubber band). the thing i like best, though, is when unions feel like reunions and reunions feel like continuous conversations.

kol - because of the times

the lyrics in the album jacket of because of the times are unbelievably wrong. i’m not going to claim i understand everything coming out of caleb’s mouth, but there are some obvious exclusions of syllables and phrases which make me doubt the accuracy of the entire thing.

as unfortunate as that is, i must say i love the album as a whole. yes, it is all over the place where aha shake heartbreak was much more focused, but it also takes so many chances that by sheer probability some of them must succeed. and succeed they do, once or twice in the most magnificent ways, such that the few failures barely register. the only cause for concern is if the kings continue too far down the path of effects and shiny polish to the point where the music loses its balance. depending upon what their next album sounds like, this one will either be considered the last great kings album or the watershed event in their careers.

i’ve been listening to the album in its entirety for several weeks now, so my opinions have passed the initial reaction and reached an equilibrium. the first song, “knocked up” is seven minutes of quiet, intense emotion. it was a bold and perfect move to make it the lead song on the album. “charmer” sounds like late strokes material, and while i didn’t like it at first, it has grown on me. i’m not too keen on “on call”, the first single. it sounds too normal and alt-rock-y. but “mcfearless”, the next track, is a virtual kick to the balls. the percussion is furious, reminiscent of block party’s first album, and caleb makes you feel every emotional line in the chorus. “black thumbnail” is a great southern swing song, similar to, but slightly poppier than what appeared on ash. “my party” is the only throwaway song on the album, in my opinion. it just doesn’t grab me.

the second half of the album is even better than the first. “true love way” blends great backing vocals with a great theme. this album has a lot of great background vocals in a way you wouldn’t expect from kings, especially this song and “knocked up”. “ragoo” is probably my favorite song on the record. i can listen to it over and over without tiring. it is a simple song with a syncopated rhythm that reminds me of summer evenings. i believe “fans” may be the second single, and while every song showcases caleb’s unique vocal abilities, this song features falsetto in almost every bar. it’s pretty in a twenty-cigarette-night-but-i’m-still-trying-to-sing-at-3am way. “the runner” is another great song about running away from home. the next track, “trunk”, is one i am not sure about. i usually skip it but i will reserve judgment until later. “camaro” is the kind of straightforward rock track one would expect from the previous two albums, but with a little more vocal effects. finally, “arizona”, the closer, is just terrific. it is a reflective piece with a pretty, wailing lead guitar that makes my eyes blink repeatedly.

early april

the weather is warm again, but now i have slipped under it. not too far that i can’t see the daffodils in my backyard, but far enough that i find it a nuisance to move. i still go to the gym because i don’t know how not to. i need to kick this bug and experience spring vitality before the summer malaise starts and i end up lying naked in the sun with a bottle of whiskey singing thin lizzy songs to the trees.

and because, be it dentist office or bedroom, everyone enjoys a good drilling in the spring, here is the POS remix of minus the bear’s “drilling”