ten gallon whiskey

so where have all the cowboys gone? you may think that the answer to that question involves the themes of chivalry, chaps, and cultural norms. but you’d be wrong. the one-word answer is “pennsylvania”. i’d be lying if i said i didn’t enjoy drinking whiskey on the porch and walking slowly. but i never really understood the need to wear dirty clothes and use dim speech. and don’t get me started on the horrible, simplistic music. so i am proposing a new “modern” kind of cowboy that embraces the slow lifestyle but doesn’t need the hat or truck. he can drink all day and play the guitar, but his songs won’t make you want to spur him in the groin. perhaps there is little difference between my modern cowboy and an alcoholic. although the former could use the noun “pard” un-ironically.