dear april,

sometimes, it is simply enough to watch others react to the way that others react to life.

while i cannot be certain that my voice (and any extension of it) has become tired, it has occurred to me that the person most affected by such a happening would, in fact, be...me. so it was good to sit back and watch. good to listen and good to read. every now and again, there is value in taking the time to acquire what had previously been spent. that time has now passed, and the assumption (undoubtedly!) is that i am better because of it. it is not that i have again earned the right to re-distribute myself, but just that there should now be more of myself to re-distribute. it feels good to assume.

what all of this means, of course, is that i need to go to the beach. because sometimes, even in april, its really....fucking....hot outside. i also need to pick up my guitar again. plans to again alter the image of my wardrobe include this weekend, which is easy enough to accomplish. i'm moving, because i need more out of my walls. may already appears to be completely filled with colored items on an outlook calendar crying for less of the same. this upsets me. i don't feel bad for the calendar. that would be stupid. or maybe i do. april tends to bring out emotions like this, times when we feel for even an application within a box that sits on a desk or a lap or a four-star bar that used to allow cigar smoke.

it's good to hear from me again. i sound different in the box.