when i am left to think with full freedom my mind wanders pretty far. it will first consider what my senses are registering at the time and then radiate outwards. these new thoughts will mix with what is familiar to me, memories i have of the past. eventually, however, my thinking always comes back to one of three things: inconsistency, repitition, or realization.
inconsistency leads to more thinking and, if i am not smart enough, also leads to questions. usually there is some piece of missing information that i need. if i can’t get to that information, though, this line of thinking is hell because there is no resolution.
repetition means that i’ve been down this thought path before. at least some things in this chaotic world are predictable. although it is usually less of a comfort and more of a feeling of emptiness. boring, numbing emptiness.
realization is the best place to end up. and the worst. it can either be discovery or despair, but at least it is something. it is rare in its true form.
this is why i drink.
i recall you told "teen beat" that you drink to make yourself look good in the mirror.
ReplyDeleteyes, i have numerous reasons. to respond to the "teen beat" quote, how could i keep convincing myself to reach for the stars if i was simply josh-lucas-attractive? wine coolers make me jared-leto-attractive.
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