get all the marmalade

i was shocked and saddened to see yet another alleged hazing incident involving a fraternity and a goat, this time at western kentucky university. things like this reflect poorly upon me, a former brother at north carolina a&m polytechnical goatherding college. although we used goats in certain “rites of passage” for new initiates, it was strictly for academic purposes and i assure you that no non-humans were harmed. i miss college.